The girls did so well on the drive out to Texas. It took about 6 hours (about 20 hours total) longer with all the stops we did for them. But I honestly could not have asked anything more from them. They were troopers. Even in the hotel that night they slept in those awful cribs the hotel leant us. We bought a DVD player for the trip and it SAVED us. We played those 30 minute Baby Einstein movies over and over for them. They loved it.
When we arrived, the panic set in again. We are living in a townhouse. That means I have stairs. Stairs... Soak that in for a minute. Carrying three babies up and down those stairs several dozen times a day... good grief. But its just so much smaller than I imagined it too. We are so packed in here. And, despite Jared's reassurance that the place was clean, it wasn't and still isn't anywhere close to MY standard of clean. And I had NO time to clean it before our stuff overtook every square inch of the place. Therefore, it still hasn't been done. Ive spent the last week trying to dig out of this hole we were buried in. Its such a slow process though since I have the girls. The first 3 days were bad for me. I was beyond stressed, emotional, drained, overcome with "to do" lists. I just sobbed most of the day saying "I cant do this... I cant do this..." Needless to say, I made it through the first week. I still hate living in this place. Its not at all suitable for our needs. Jared is on summer sales schedule again so he leaves at 1130 and doesnt get home until about 1030 that night. Its a nightmare. NIGHTMARE! This just isn't functional to our lives anymore. It sucked when it was just me at home all day long ALONE. But now we have three babies. Its just... I get so emotional when I think about it.
**Let me just stop here and say something very important. My in-laws have LITERALLY saved me through this entire process. My father in law flew down and packed up all of our stuff. Just so you understand how much stuff we have... we filled a 26 foot UHAUL (the biggest one they offer) TO THE BRIM... insane. So he packed us in and unloaded us. He also drove us to Texas and helped so much with the girls... I mean he is a hero. And then there is my precious sister in law Lisa. She has volunteered to live with me for 6 months before she goes to college. She has been my saving grace. Literally. She is so great with the girls. She can do all that I do. She is my desperately needed second set of arms. She is amazing and I will NEVER be able to thank her enough for the peace of mind she gives me. In laws are amazing.**
So with Lisa's help I am now in charge of unpacking, cleaning, cooking, remembering everything, grocery shopping, paying bills, running errands, and for now handling the girls all day long without Jared IN ADDITION to what I did while living at home. Its overwhelming. Im trying everyday not to let it keep me in bed all day and not get up. Its hard. Its hard on a marriage. Its the most difficult thing Ive been asked to do and Im still making peace with it. Now you know why I haven't posted in a while. I think I will stick to cute pictures and videos of the girls until I can get my attitude and thoughts in check. Until then.
Wow this post got long. Sorry.