Wednesday, February 22, 2012

False Alarm

I think its been long enough for me to finally take a deep breath and step back and be grateful for the land mine I almost stepped on. A couple of weeks ago Jared and I had a pregnancy scare. No details necessary, but the bottom line is we thought our birth control failed. And it was an excruciating two weeks waiting it out. I honestly wasn't THAT worried about it until the second week of waiting. The closer "it" got here the more frantic I became.

You girls who've had babies know and understand that right before you start your period is actually a lot like when you first get pregnant. Some of the same signals happen. Your mood changes, your appetite changes, you're more tired, cramping a little, maybe headaches or body aches. (yeah we as women totally put up with ALOT!) Anyway, so the more signals that appeared the more I started freaking out that I was actually pregnant! And, no kidding, by the end of the week for two whole days (thats 48 very long hours) I thought I WAS pregnant, not that I MIGHT be or MAYBE, I thought I was! And holy moly.... talk about depression.... I couldn't sleep, I felt sick, I would just sit down during my shower and cry like a baby (don't worry the girls were taking a nap). I mean it was a bad really bad 2 days for me. Jared was worried and concerned we could be pregnant but he said he never thought that we were. But to KNOW I was going to have another baby (and possibly two or even three more) was almost more than I could handle.

That would mean I could have 6 children under 2 1/2 years old! That would mean I would be living in this horrible town home with all these kids. That would mean I would seriously have to hire help. I just went down a dark road with all these thoughts about what this pregnancy would mean and it was sad how much I did NOT want to face it. I think/hope the mothers of multiples understand more why I would freak out so much....

Well after 2 days of what can only be described as hell, I waited until the girls were asleep (I didn't want them to see me upset) to take a pregnancy test. It was negative and I got my period that night.... whew! Like I said, land mine averted. After all was said and done, I breathed a huge sigh of relief with tears and everything. The next morning Jared said, "Well I know now that I really want another baby sometime in the future." BAHAHA! WHAT?! I replied with "Yeah, and Im more convinced than ever that im good with my three girls..." hahaha Now that was more relief talking than anything else. We probably will have another one (when I have a house next door to my parents that is....seriously). But for now, I couldn't be more relieved and grateful that I can just focus on staying sane through triplet toddlerhood.

1 comment:

  1. I remember when my triplets were about 2 or 2 1/2 and I saw something on the news about a mom that had 2 year old triplets and had just found out she was pregnant with another set of triplets. I was working out at the time and I just started crying feeling so bad for her because I couldn't imagine having another set of triplets at that point - it's just so exhausting. From the mom of 10 1/2 year old triplets - it does get easier!!! But enjoy them when their small because I so miss that age sometimes!