Friday, February 3, 2012

Feeling a little self indulgent....

I read a blog from this triplet mom pretty much religiously. Her kids are almost a year older than mine and its fascinating to me to see what I have to look forward to in the future and see how she handles certain situations. Anyway, I was reading up on it today and she posted all these yummy recipes that she had made that week. She loves to cook and I dont know how but she still manages to create these awesome meals.

So that all seems pretty random, I know. But it got me thinking about the parts of me Ive "given up" or put on hold since the girls have come into my life. Im a natural home body. I am perfectly fine renting a movie and ordering take out as a date opposed to getting dressed up and fighting crowds. Ive always been that way, except during that Robert phase, but anyway. So not being able to go out now doesn't bother me too much. My parents have been my best friends most of my life so Im not missing out on "hanging with the girls." Never really did that growing up either. I dont miss school, which took up 90% of my life before the girls. So it would seem nothing has changed with the girls being here.... hahaha

But I miss cooking. I love(d) to cook. I loved making different things with all the clean up. I would find all kinds of recipes for different occasions. Now, I hate cooking.... Hate it.... I hate the clean up, the prep work, the grocery store, planning a weeks worth of meals. I am so exhausted by the time I get the girls down at 7, then I have to make dinner for Jared and me. Then clean it up. After Ive been cleaning up all day long. Anyway, thats my life now and whatever. But I just hate that I dont like to cook anymore. I miss that freedom and TIME when I had to spend hours in the kitchen doing something fun, and not scrubbing peas off the wall. This girl whose blog I read puts her kids to bed around 5 or 6, so she still has "daylight" I guess to play in the kitchen, but at the end of the day I would rather sit, relax, and watch something pointless on tv instead of being in the kitchen creating another mess.

I love my girls more than anything. I know a lot of moms worry about losing themselves or aspects of themselves being so involved in motherhood. I've never had that fear. I guess there's not much about me that I thought would change once I became a mom. But this, I didn't expect. And I honestly think once the girls are a bit older they will be able to be in the kitchen with me, making messes together and learning and oh Im so excited for that stage. But right now, I hate being in that kitchen making 6 meals a day (the girls get their own separate meals) and then cleaning them up. AGH! It just made me sad thinking about something that I used to enjoy is now my least favorite thing to do.

Moving on now...

2 comments:

  1. My mother gave me some wise counsel that I'd like to share. It's a famous quote from somewhere, don't ask me where: "This, too, shall pass." Before you know it your girls will love to be in the kitchen with you and you'll be able to enjoy teaching them the art of homemaking. But for now it's ok to do take out or simple meals and know that someday you'll be able to go back to cooking. Give yourself permission to nurture yourself after the girls are down. You most definitely deserve it. Love you tons, momma Toone

    ReplyDelete
  2. I also read a blog of of woman who triplets a a bit older than mine, and it's so great/scary to see what we'll be up against. We triplet moms really have to lean on each other!

    I thought I'd never be in the kitchen voluntarily when the kids were younger. I know about all the little meals you have to make all day, and it is truly exhausting. I thought I'd traded my love for food for my kids, and I was alright with that. But then I found that my desire started to return as my life allowed. I didn't feel pressured to start up again full force, but let myself play when I felt up to it. It was an accomplishment just to make cookies sometimes! I had to sort of re-train myself, and really manage my time wisely. It took some time, and I'm still have a way to go as far as experimenting in the kitchen like I did before the kids, but I am thrilled to have them as a trade off. And you'll be surprised at how the girls will change each month/year. It's funny how we think things are going to be a certain way forever, and then everything changes. You will find more time for yourself to do whatever you want (when they aren't climbing on top of the TV or pulling each other's hair)! Usually I use my free-time to sleep/veg out, but that's just me.

    ReplyDelete