Wednesday, October 28, 2009

De-Press-Ing!!!

So my mom was wanting a pair of jeans to wear so we were going through my old jeans that USED to fit me since my mother is smaller than me. I have to say that is was thoroughly depressing. I found jeans that I wore in college. I was a size 6. I cant even say what I am now, its too sickening.
Why do I hang on to them after 4 years you may wonder.... Well Ive put them in the D.I. pile (or Goodwill for non Utah folks) several times and Jared keeps taking them out. He wants me to keep them because "I will get back in em soon." He thinks they help set a goal for me, and they probably should. Except all they really do is remind me how many times ive TRIED to get back in them and FAILED. It feels like a complete lost cause.... and that makes me want to break down and cry.
I obviously cant loose weight on my own, I cant afford a personal trainer and personal chef and Im not doing those crazy fad diets. So what am I supposed to do? Some days I feel so disgusted with myself. Today is definitely one of the thousands....

3 comments:

  1. Don't get so down. I do think it would be a good idea to keep ONE pair so you can try them on when you lose weight. Part of the thyroid not functioning is having a hard time losing the weight. But you can do it! Mark's got hypothyroidism and he has a hard time losing as well. I know how depressing it can be but keep your chin up! I love you!

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  2. Please don't feel blue! You're so beautiful Ashlee. You just have to find a motivation that works for you. If keeping the pants around doesn't work, play around until you find what does.

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  3. ASHLEE!!!....=( I am so sorry you are having a hard time. Just know that I luv ya girlie and just like Autumn said you are absolutely gorgeous! Good luck with everything, don't stress, it will only make matters worse. Call me when you get some free time I miss you, we need to catch up.

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