Sunday, July 11, 2010

Week 33..... and no more...



If week 32 was the longest week of my pregnancy then week 33 was the shortest. My girls are here! They made their appearance on Tuesday, July 6th around 3:20 pm. Here's our story:

These belly pictures you see were actually taken right before Jared and I left for my doctor's appointment on Tuesday. I had been having headaches all week and seeing the fire fly floaters more this week but felt fine other than that. So I honestly thought it would be a routine visit. And it was at the beginning. The ultrasound showed the girls were doing perfectly and I hadn't dilated anymore from the last appointment. My doctor and I were talking about how I received a letter from my insurance saying they wouldn't pay for the C-section since it wasn't an "emergency." She couldn't believe that and I was just in tears about it (its so expensive). That lead to a conversation about my high blood pressure and we joked that we could use that as an excuse to go into an "emergency Csection" NEXT Friday. The nurse in the room went ahead and took my blood pressure right then and low and behold it was 149/101. Insanely high.

We waited a few minutes and took it again. No change. Waited a few more minutes and did the same thing. Nothing. I told her about my headaches and seeing flurries this week and turns out, I have preeclampsia. The doctor looked at me and said "we need to get these girls out, today if possible." Everything happened so fast after that. I remember fighting her on the issue because my girls were NOT ready to come out. I could hang in there ten more days and THEN she could take them, but NOT now! She told me I could start having seizures and even have my placenta detach and loose a baby. I knew I would never risk that so I cried and cried when I realized my girls were coming now and I could not keep them anymore.

That was all around 12:30 and by 3:00 they had me in an O.R. taking out my girls. It was so bittersweet to me because I knew they would not be coming home with me. I knew they would be too small and that they would need more time to grow. I was heartbroken.... But when I saw them for the first time, there's just no words to describe the feeling. The nerves, the emotion, the overwhelming love you feel in that one moment comes to a head and it takes your breath away. It was so surreal seeing them. They are so beautiful and perfect. I cried. Because I was so grateful they were healthy and because I was so upset with myself for not being able to prevent them for having to come so early.

I don't feel like a failure or anything. But I cringed every time someone says "You did such a great job keeping triplets for that long." They needed more time and my stupid blood pressure ruined everything. Its hard to "forgive" your body for not doing its job well enough. Especially when you see your babies hooked up to machines and wires. Heartbreaking.

Thankfully my girls are just perfect. The twins, Abigail and Mia, weighed the exact same. 3 pounds 15 ounces. (One ounce shy of 4 pounds...) And Charlotte (the oldest by a few seconds) weighed exactly one pound more than her sisters, 4 pounds 15 ounces. (One ounce shy of 5 pounds). I am so in love with these girls. I ache for them. Ache. I have been cut open, sewed up, catheter, IVed, doped up with Magnesium Sulfate, and so many other painful things but NOTHING compares to the hurt I felt when I had to leave the hospital Saturday night withOUT my girls. It was heart wrenching. I want my girls with me so bad I can't even explain it. They wont give us a date when the girls will be able to come home but I am hoping no more than 2 weeks. Two whole weeks..... it will be an eternity.

This post became way too long so I will cut it off. I will post pictures and updates on the girls though. And when more details from the last few days come back to me I will write about those too. I am a proud momma and Jared is just an amazing daddy. You think you can't love someone anymore or anyone else as much..... what a joke. I love Jared so much more today than I did a week ago. And my life and everything in it now revolves around those 3 precious angels. My heart is full...

4 comments:

  1. Ashlee you're a momma! Congratulations! Can't wait to see pictures!

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  2. We continue in prayer for your sweet little family. Bless your heart, seeing the babies hooked up to machinery and wires and tubes is a heartwrencher indeed.

    Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help out in any way.

    Shell

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  3. I love you! I'm so glad that they're here. Your body did a great job of making these girls as healthy as it could. I am impressed that they're doing so well for being so early. It just isn't possible to expect more - you did great!

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  4. I know this is over a year ago but, my triplets are 4 months old & I like to go back & see other triplet moms birth stories... what gestation they got to & what caused them to finally have their babies. You did do a phenomenal job!!! I went into the hospital @ 26 weeks with no cervical length and @ 29 weeks 3 days I started dilating. I had my boys @ 29 weeks 4 days. I laughed when the doctors and nurses said I did great to carry that long... my goal was 33 weeks. Everyone I had met or known of at least got to 32 weeks. Anyways, Congrats to you & your beautiful little girls :)

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